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Talk. We do so much of it. Estimates show the average person speaks ten thousand words a day! Since your doing so much of it, you’ll do well to examine you’re talk. Let’s allow the biblical proverbs to help us examine our talk. Consider who, when, and what you tell.
First, Who you tell.
To whom do you entrust your messages? Beware of those who do a better job of eliciting information from you than helping steward information for you. Information is empowerment. Counsel is valuable. Friendship matters. So you should take a risk and trust in life. But this admonition still stands: Choose wisely. “Whoever sends a message by the hand of a fool cuts off his own feet and drinks violence” (Proverbs 26:6).
Most everybody loves the experience of healthy community but fewer are willing to pay the price for healthy community. Communities require cost, leadership, commitment. The price includes member humility when differences inevitably arise. The price includes intentionally giving up some rights for a greater good, the good of community. Disciplined talk is a cost of community. One said, ‘Haste is the enemy of intimacy.’ These truths are reasons community is not more often experienced than it is, and why community is so treasured by those that have recounted the cost and freely chosen to engage it. “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment. A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion” (Proverbs 18:1-2).
Second, When you tell.
Maybe tell less. Words can be fewer. Causes can be focused. Everything that you can say about an issue does not have to be said in every instance of controversy. Albert Mohler exhorted, ”One does not have a moral obligation to say everything he thinks every time he has the opportunity.” Step around danger. This is not to negate courage, which is needed! This is not to depress healthy dialogue which is also needed. This is a call for wisdom to know when it’s time to cash in earned influence in order to take a stand. Have the courage of your convictions, yes. Have not conviction-less courage or hot-temperedness. Making every issue that arises a danger to address is folly. Fire not the energies of controversy into the winds of life—so it can disperse and blow away ineffectually, misguidedly. Think well before you speak.
The justice/righteous oriented person needs to hush and study much before he opens his mouth, lest he chase after the wind. Distill that holy disquiet. Then, when the time is correct, the Spirit has guided, fire away! But most of the time, most often, you’ll see danger and dodge it. Every minor controversy is not worth your major effort. “The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it” (Proverbs 22:3).
Third, What you tell.
Restrain your words. I’m not sure who first said this but they turned a worthy phrase: Better to be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt! Restraining words is not the same as abstaining from all words. To be sure, you should communicate with your church family, spouse or children, boss, faithful friends, etc. God created with communication. He spoke the world into existence with a word. In Genesis 1 we read, “and God said let there be...and it was.” God also instructs the reader: “the Word ‘was’ God” (see John 1:1). You, as an image bearer of the most High God, are created to be wordy. The problem is not in the words but in the wielding of words in this now sinful world of fallen humanity. It seems that in order to speak wisely we must run every word we might prospectively speak through a filter of righteousness before uttering it—especially if utterances will occur in more mixed company. It’s great to have a safe place to interact with many words, but most of the time, words must be weighed and measured before spoken. Often, we need to let our words be fewer. Be a better listener. Bring the gospel to bear in situations. Until you learn to bridle the tongue, let your words be few. The fool blabs on and on. Knowledgeable is the one who restrains words. “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent” (Proverbs 17:27-28).
Jesus talked about talk . He commented, “You’ve heard it said but I say to you.” He would exclaim, “You hypocrites!” when religious talk did not match actions. He would offer the self-styled experts an interrogative: “Have you not read?” when their spiritual arguments were inconsistent with biblical doctrine. Jesus even talked to the governor who presided over his execution. That conversation led the governor to gasp: “What is truth?” Jesus fulfilled the talk of the law. Jesus not only talked but also examined the nature of talk. And we should too.
P.S. I recommend Fool’s Talk by Os Guinness on this subject.
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